


Broken

by Gabriella_Marie



Series: In Your Eyes [1]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character with Cochlear Implants, Cochlear Implants, Deaf Character, M/M, Ostracism, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 13:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12169818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriella_Marie/pseuds/Gabriella_Marie
Summary: Basically, a soulmate AU where your eye is the color of your soulmates. However, Cecil's eyes change color with his emotions. This fic deals with the implications and consequences of that for Carlos. The main story is gonna be the end of his time at the university and the start of his time in Night Vale, but a lot of chapters will skip into the past and the futureOrAn angsty fic that deals with the consequences of having an unusual soulmarkOrEveryone knew your left eye was the color of your soulmate’s. Everyone. And that was Carlos’s problem. He may not have been an adult, but he already knew that he was different. Broken. Wrong. What other explanation could there be?...Was he really so unlikable that not even his own soulmate could bear to be his soulmate for more than a few hours?





	1. Freak

Everyone knew your left eye was the color of your soulmate’s. Everyone. And that was Carlos’s problem. He may not have been an adult, but he already knew that he was different. Broken. Wrong. What other explanation could there be? Everyone knew that your eye only changed color if your soulmate’s eyes became a different color. And the only explanation for that was if your soulmate changed. It was a scientific fact. He really wished it wasn’t, but science wasn’t something you could wish away. Was… was he really so unlikable that not even his own soulmate could bear to be his soulmate for more than a few hours?

His Einstein alarm rang suddenly, jolting him out of his thoughts. He… he had to get ready, didn’t he? He had school today. He might have liked it, if not for the stares and the whispers and the outright violence and ostracism. At least he had science class at the end of the day. His science teacher was… well, like pretty much everyone who knew him, but class made up for it. Pulling on his Junior Scientist’s Labcoat™ and making absolutly zero effort to brush his mess of hair, Carlos walked down to the kitchen, shoes slapping on the hardwood floor. Once there, he pulled out a bowl and made himself some cereal, his mom’s brand, because they were all out of his. Mom and Dad were already gone. Couldn’t bear to look at his freakishness, probably. Hearing the milk pouring After brushing his teeth, he staggered back into the kitchen and, looking at the clock, panicked and wolfed down his cereal before rushing out to meet the bus.   
Panting with exertion, he climbed up the steps, ignoring the stares as he made his way to the back end of the bus, which was, thankfully, empty. Getting out a book from his backpack, Carlos put in his earbuds and let the music wash everything away.

Before he knew it, the bus had come to a halt, and he had to get off. He waited for everyone else to clear out before he got off, so as to minimize the chances of running into someone overtly hostile towards him.

As soon as he swung open the door and stepped onto the dusty white linoleum, Rachelle slid next to him.  
“Hey there, Carlos! So anyways, did you hear about this science thing they’re hosting over at the community college? There’s gonna be talks from a bunch of scientists in cutting-edge fields and exhibits about a bunch of new discoveries and it’ll be an awesome opportunity for-”  
“Why are you always doing this, Rachelle? What do you want out of me? You just pity the freak?”  
At that, she spun around and gripped his shoulders tightly, stopping Carlos in his tracks.   
“Hey. You are not a… Okay, maybe you are a freak, but you’re my freak. I like talking to you, you’re kind, and I love the way your face lights up when you talk about science. Carlos, you may be a freak, but you’re also my friend, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”  
“T… thanks, Rachelle…”  
“Now come on, let’s get to class.”


	2. And So It Begins

“That’s bullshit!”

“Rachelle, really, it’s fine… I understand…”

“Shush, let me talk… And you!” Rachelle whirled around to face the director of the university. “Carlos is one of the best scientists in this university! He has worked his ass off on every nigh-impossible task you’ve given him and his research is brilliant! If anyone deserves to go on a research expedition to this community, it’s him!”

The director pushed her glasses back towards her nose as she started speaking. “While you do make some good points, the undeniable fact remains that Carlos, here, doesn’t have a proper soulbond. Without having a soulmate, who knows if he’ll be able to bond properly with anyone? We cannot afford to make mistakes on this expedition. Besides, the frank truth is, he might be good at science, but he’s still a mistake. Would you really entrust anything important to a mistake? I think not.”

“You… you… I swear! Come on, Carlos, we’re getting you on this research trip one way or another!” Rachelle grabbed Carlos by the arm and started to drag him out of the room.

“Rachelle, really… you shouldn’t jeopardize your own position. I… I understand where she’s coming from… I’m not worth it, Rachelle…”

Her eyes flared at his words. “Oh, don’t you give me that! I know how much you wanted to go on this, and she shouldn’t just… refuse to let you on just because of your freakish nature! God, it makes me so… so…”

Taking a deep breath, Carlos started to speak. “Look, Rachelle, I appreciate this, but you don’t really understand. What she said was the simple truth. You’re not gonna be able to convince her, okay? Yes, I did want to go, but I knew it was a long shot. I didn’t get my hopes up, and you know, this was the most likely outcome at any rate. It’s okay, I've had to accept that this kind of thing would happen to me long before this. 

“No, you don’t have to accept that. You shouldn’t have to accept that!”

“You may _think_ you understand, Rachelle, but you don’t. You just don’t. You’ve had it so much easier.

You know, I was the top of our class despite the teachers looking for any excuse to knock me down a few points. I was lucky to even get into University at all. I graduated _with honors_ and I was lucky to get a job, much less to get called back by the same university for a research position. And, I know that I was the last resort, that they would have taken almost anyone else that was good at science, but I’m okay with that. Because I’ve had to deal with this kind of stuff my entire life.

And yes, I work into the wee hours of the morning on every task she gives me, no matter how impossible they may be. You know why? Because I’ve always had to work twice as hard as anyone else to get even half the opportunities. You don’t get that. You can’t. You see it, but you don’t really get it. You have no right to judge me, Rachelle. It’s not fair, I know it’s not fucking fair, but it’s my life, and I’m the one who’s gotta deal with that.”

He paused for a moment, breathing heavily, before continuing with new fervor.

“And so you go in there with all your bluster and think that of course you know exactly what’s going on, that some impassioned speech is gonna make everything better and make everybody hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Well, guess what? It’s not going to. Life just isn’t fair, Rachelle.” He pulled his arm free of her grip and started walking away, feeling a twinge of guilt at the stricken look on her face.


	3. And Sometimes When You Lose, You Win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's supported and commented on my little story. My heart goes out to y'all! Here's another chapter, for all of you.  
> (Also, some of the dialogue was taken from Paul Shapera's amazing steampunk opera, The Dolls of New Albion)

A knock at the door. A faint voice.

Carlos turned around, panicked, his eyes landing on the guilty look on Rachelle’s face.

“Rachelle, what’d you do?”

“I’m sorry, but… All these years that you’re here, you suffer quietly. It’s barbarous to think that’s fair. There’s no one who thinks of you. This game is gonna end right here.” 

“What did you do?”

The pounding at the door was getting ever louder, reverberating through the lab. 

“Carlos, I’m sorry, but I had to. I had to.”

The words flowed into Carlos’ ears like mud, barely registered as he tentatively unlocked the door and let it swing open.

A stern-faced administrator, Jordan, his mind told him, stood on the other end. They beckoned him to come with them and Carlos nervously followed after, eyes darting around, trying desperately not to think of what might be waiting ahead. 

“I don’t know what the director wants you for, but all I can say is I’m sure it’ll be exactly what a freak like you deserves. I honestly don’t know why she ever let you in in the first place.”

Even though Jordan’s words had ramped up his anxiety to an entirely new level, there wasn’t any point in answering, as not only did he have bigger fish to fry at the moment, but he didn’t want to antagonize Jordan any more than he already did just by existing. The clack of his shoes on the tile echoed through the almost empty hallways. He felt like he was walking to his doom. Carlos was unsure of what would happen when they finally reached the Director’s office after this seeming eternity of walking, but he knew it wouldn’t be good. It never was. The pit of dread in his stomach was growing larger with every second, but still he kept walking, almost mindlessly, until he was stopped short by Jordan’s arm across his chest. 

“You dumb or something? I clearly told you, stop here. Honestly. Now, I’m going to open the door and you better hope she’s not in a bad mood. This is where I leave, finally. Looking forwards to seeing whatever she does with you! Toodles, little mistake.”

The door was opened and Carlos tentatively stepped in. Director Blackburn was looking across the ornate wooden desk at him, a stern look painting her face. 

“Sit down.”

“Of-of course.”

Plopping himself hurriedly into the nearest chair, he waited for her to speak.

“Carlos. Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. What am I to do with you? I let you in out of the kindness of my heart. You’re obviously a mistake, and yet I allowed you to work here, in the same labs as our  _ respectable _ scientists. And how do you repay me? Repay our beloved university? By siccing that ‘friend’ of yours on us, pestering us incessantly to put you on a research trip you never would have even been considered for. And this latest thing she’s done? Well, that’s just the last straw.”

“Look, don't blame Rachelle, it's not her fault. Blame me instead. She’s a great scientist, she  _ deserves _ to be on this expedition. Don't blame her, okay? It's all my fault.”

“Oh, I know it is. Why do you think I asked you here? That girl you’ve corrupted should have told you to be careful what you wish for. You want to be on the Night Vale mission? Fine, be on the Night Vale mission. But, nothing ever comes without a price, of course. Behold, the new leader of the Night Vale project. (as if someone like you could ever lead). And let me tell you something. If anything. Anything at all, goes even the slightest bit wrong, well, that’ll all be on you, of course. That’ll all be your fault. I’d wish you good luck, but I’m just not a person who likes to get into the habit of lying.”

Carlos reeled back in his chair, speechless with shock. He was actually gonna go. This wouldn’t be the only catch, of course it wouldn’t, but it was far beyond worth it, because he was actually gonna go.

“And, of course, if I see even one slip up from you, I might just take my  _ very _ generous offer back. I’m watching you, Carlos.”

“Ye-yes Director Blackburn, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, honestly. You have no idea-”

“Just get out before I change my mind.”

Carlos doesn’t think he’s power walked down the halls so fast in his life. Despite everything, he could feel a little bubble of hope rising up. Maybe I somehow won’t antagonize her before the expedition leaves and I’ll actually get to go. Go to that place of so many unexplored scientific phenomena, of new discoveries, any scientist’s wet dream. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt like he might just up and explode with excitement. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my fucking gosh.” there were so many things he had to do, but right now there was only one thing he cared about. He had to tell Rachelle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? Just tell me what you think! Comments are love, comments are life.


	4. Price

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, y'all! Sorry it took me so long to update, but I had to figure out some things about where I wanted this story to go...  
> So, without further ado, here's the next chapter of Broken!

She had been in the lab ever since Jordan had taken Carlos away, too nervous to do any work. The terror on Carlos’ face as he had opened the door was etched into her mind. What if... she hadn’t done the right thing after all? What if she had just made everything worse for him? How long had it been? What was happening to him? She should have done better. She should have known. She should have listened. Some friend she was.

Her head snapped up as the door slammed open. Standing up shakily, she rose to look at Carlos and his violet left eye, desperate to know how it went, how badly she had messed up, and was immediately enveloped in a hug.

“Thank you,” Carlos said in a choked whisper. “ I don’t know what you did, but I might actually get to go.”

Pulling back slightly, Rachelle looked at him, where his eye had changed to a deep, endless blue, and started speaking hurriedly in relief that her plan had actually worked.

“That’s great, Carlos! I’m so happy for you!”

“Looks like your meddling actually worked for once.”

“I guess it did,” she said, her nervousness breaking into a smile.

“Oh my gosh. I just remembered something. I just remembered something! Come on, you gotta help. Give me a moment, I need to grab them from my room.”

As he started to leave, Rachelle called back “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“You’ll see...”

**(o)**

Carlos walked down the halls as quickly as he dared. It felt as if it took forever, but he finally reached the door that led to his room. It wasn’t really a room as such, but rather a small space that all of the researchers had to store things and in case they needed to stay overnight. Digging under the bed, he finally found the small box he had hidden there a few weeks back. Slipping it into his bag, he walked out again and tried to get back through the university without being noticed by anyone. After making it back to the lab, heart pounding, he greeted Rachelle with a hug and sank down into one of the lab chairs.

“Okay, so here’s the key to my plan.”

“What is it, Carlos? Please just tell me... You’re being really secretive…”

“One minute, lemme just make sure the door’s locked…”

After locking it, (how could he not have remembered to lock it?) Carlos sat back down, slowly slid the wooden box out, and opened it as Rachelle let out a gasp.

“Colored contacts? But-but those are illegal, Carlos!”

“It’s not like it’s a felony or anything, Rachelle.”

“It’s not a felony? That’s your excuse? It may not be a felony, but it’s still against the law! How did you even get them?”

“I… erhem… have a contact…”

“Oh my gosh, do you have any idea how much trouble we could get in?”

“I mean, look, I get why it’s illegal; covering up your eye color is akin to saying you don’t care about your soulmate, the person who you complete and that completes you, and that you wished you had another, but my soulbond is already broken. There’s no point, really, in not hiding it.  But, Rachelle, look, this town seems to be cut off from the outside world. They probably haven’t seen the news articles, the documentaries, the books confirming my freakish nature. Rachelle, this isn’t just a great scientific opportunity for me, it’s my chance at a fresh start. Please, help me. Please. I need you.” He felt close to falling to his knees and literally begging, that was how desperate he was.

She let out a sigh. “Alright, but why do you even need help? You already have the - illegal, I might add - contacts.”

“Because even with the contacts, my stupid, broken, eye keeps showing through. You’re brilliant with this kind of stuff, Rachelle. If anyone can figure out a way to make them work, it’s you.”

“Okay, Carlos, I’ll help… That’s what friends are for, after all. Where do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, pwease? Comments make my heart happy!  
> (Also, just so you guys know, I'm probably not gonna be able to update during November because I'm participating in Nanowrimo...)  
> Again, just hit that comment button down below! I hope you enjoyed!


	5. The Winds of Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I just want to apologize for waiting so long to post this chapter, but life caught up with me. Chapters ought to come more regularly from here on out. Furthermore, something in Chapter 3 was retconned, because it didn't make sense, considering the universe I built.

“Contact coated with solution J1 tested. Results: contact hid eye color for 57 minutes before light dissolved solution and eye color showed through.”

Rachelle recorded the results of the last experiment before looking back up at Carlos. This solution had been working for three hours already and was holding steady; she had a good amount of hope this would be the one. 

“It-it’s still working, right? You can’t see anything?” Carlos’s voice filtered into her ears from where he was packing up the beakers. 

“Nothing, don’t worry. Did you get the shipment from your contact? Oh my god, I still can’t believe I’m doing this…”

“Um, yeah, I met her yesterday…”

“Okay, good, good, that’s good. That’s very good. Not panicked at all, Nosirrie.” Rachelle paused from where she was roughly handling the suitcases, and squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to calm herself down. “Also, how much do we have left to pack again?” she asked with a strained smile. 

“Not too much, actually. Our personal lab equipment is mostly packed and I believe we’ve already finished packing our clothes and whatnot."

“Good, good. That’s perfect.”

She felt a tugging on her arm.

“Rachelle? Are you alright?”

“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m… I’m sorry I’m putting you through all of this…”

“It’s alright. Anything for a friend, after all… Um… Carlos?”

“Yes?”

“I think the thing’s starting to wear off…”

“Well then. That’s just great.”

“On the bright side, we could always reapply it…”

“Yeah… I guess this is as good as we’re gonna get…”

  
  


( **o** )

**THE UNIVERSITY OF WHAT IT IS HOSTS RESEARCH JOURNEY TO ODD DESERT COMMUNITY**

**Ana de la Rosa**

**Science Quarterly**

**September 2nd**

_ The University of What It Is, as one might know, has always been notorious for its groundbreaking scientific trips. The latest of these, as reported in our exclusive scoop, is a scientific anomaly of a community its denizens refer to as Night Vale. Sarah Blackburn, the director of the university, calls this an unprecedented opportunity to further the bounds of science. “Well, I’d like to think that I’m just following in the footsteps of my predecessors and continuing the illustrious history of the University of What It Is. This university has made several groundbreaking advancements in many scientific fields, but even remembering that, we must acknowledge the sheer scientific potential this town has. We’ve heard reports of things that can’t yet be explained by our current science. To be frank, I feel a certain sense of pride in being the one to  make this journey possible. I just wish all these great scientists the best of luck.” And great scientists they are. Some of the best researchers of the University have volunteered for the mission, and we were able to get exclusive statements from these brave compatriots, which include Rachelle Morss, an up-and-coming researcher, Arcadia Gomez, renowned in her field, and co-discoverer of one of the Five basic principles of soulmarks,  Adrian Hill, geologist  and chemist, Violet Ng, who’s pioneered new techniques in medicine and engineering, and the always controversial Carlos Ramirez.  _

_ Who couldn’t recognize the name at this point? The man with the broken soulmark. Even among staff, his appointment has sparked controversy. In a statement to Science Quarterly, Jordan Talbott, a high-ranking university administrator, said that “With all due respect to Director Blackburn, letting Carlos onto the team with respectable scientists such as Dr. Morss and Dr. Ng, to name a few, is an insult to the profession and to the project itself. You can see just by looking at him that he’s not normal. It has been conclusively proven that having a soulmate is an integral part of the human experience; nay, of being human. With someone like him, soulmark as broken as it is, who knows what could happen? While he may be good at science, he is simply not fit to be on the mission. He’s a mistake made by the universe, and under no circumstances should he be allowed on anything of such importance.”  _

_ A sentiment echoed by many who are following the progress of the mission. When Carlos himself was asked what he had to say about the disapproval surrounding his appointment, he told our intrepid reporter that “I’m not an idiot, I know you’ll probably cut and edit this to say whatever you want it to say, but I just want you to know that it honestly doesn’t really bother me all that much. I mean, it bothers me, sure, but not as much as it probably should. I’ve had people calling me freak and mistake and broken and worthless my entire life. This, honestly, is just more of the same. Nevertheless, no matter what people might think of me, I’m just grateful to be going on this mission at all. However, despite this, my only hope regarding this, frankly, is that you’ll be able to see past what I am and focus on what I’ve done instead.”  _ **Delete or revise this section. It reads too sympathetically. It’s just not going to appeal to the majority of our readers.**

_ The other members of the mission were rather more optimistic about their prospects. Dr. Gomez, when asked her opinion, stated “To be honest, I can’t wait until we leave. Not that I don’t enjoy your company, but this is going to be such a great opportunity. My ex-girlfriend can testify to the fact that I was rushing around packing like a chicken with her head cut off. Of course, it’s rather unfortunate that Ramirez is going, but, you know, there’s always things you have to put up with in the name of science.”  _

_ Dr. Hill, though also excited, was rather unhappy at being interrupted in the middle of an experiment. “Well, yes, yes, of course I’m excited to be going. WHo wouldn’t be? This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and, there’s not a chance in hell I’m passing this mission up. The only issue is finding enough room for all my equipment. Well, that, and the freak of nature that’ll be joining us. But other than that, I’m all set to jet!” At this point someone, later identified as Professor Brenton, muttered something to him, and mumbling a “do I have to?” he looked up, and with a resigned smile on his face, he said. “To fulfil a bet with Professor Brenton I made two months ago, Long ago, the sciences lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed... when the fire nation attacked. Only Adrian, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most…” At this point, Dr. Hill dissolved into laughter. Holding up a hand, he continued, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but one thing you can say about Adrian Hill is that he always keeps his word. But again, sorry!”  _ **Remove or edit this part as well. While it may, as you say, “show their human side” we are a scientific publication and we need to be professional.** _ Dr. Morss, in contrast to the relaxed demeanor of her colleagues, was rather intense in her interview. “I feel great about going. Not only because of me, aloughth that is, obviously, a huge factor, but because my friend, who sorely deserves it, is going as well.” It started off well enough, but once we got to the question about Carlos Ramirez, she completely went off on our poor, beleaguered reporter. “No. No. Like hell Carlos is a burden. He’s my friend. Do you even know how much I had to do to get him on the mission? And have you even seen the work he’s done? Were he any other person, he would have been one of the first people picked. But no. It’s because of people like you, people who think that he’s some sort of leper because of his soulmark, that he’s had to deal with this kind of prejudice. All of you have your heads up your asses so far that you can’t even see that what you’re doing is fucking wrong!”  _ **_Again, this part is too sympathetic. Please edit._ ** _Well then,_ _ this seems like an extremely passionate team of people, and I, for one, will be looking forwards to following the mission. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still reading this? Probably not >< But anyways, comments, questions, concerns? Just mosey on down to the box down below and tell me what you think. Comments are my lifeblood.


	6. Dead Things and Broken Love Stories for us Await

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honey, I'm hoooome! Glad you can join us again for this next installment of Broken! Now that my rambling's over, here we go!

Carlos was feeling rather uncomfortable at the moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t have enough space to sit in the van; on the contrary, there was far more than enough. It was the tension permeating the air, everyone studiously ignoring him, that was making him shrink into himself unconsciously.

Rachelle broke into the conversation that was going on with a “Oh! That actually reminds me of this paper Carlos did on electromagnetic wavefields. Why don’t you tell them about it?”

“Rachelle, I really don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Nonsense! Come on Carlos, don’t be so shy!”

“Rachelle, please.”

“You can do it!”

He sighed. When Rachelle got like this, there was no reasoning with her sometimes. He wasn’t gonna win this, was he?

“Alright…”

As he continued talking, Carlos started to forget about the other people in the car and their judging looks. His eyes started to light up as he explained how he’d discovered new applications of the wavefield. As his explanation started winding down, he looked around the van, only to discover that Rachelle was the only one listening. He shouldn’t have let her talk him into this. With a sigh and a whispered “never mind…” he sank back into the seat.

“You know, you shouldn’t feel so proud of yourself. Anyone could have discovered that.”

 _Wasn’t that the entire premise of science?_ Carlos thought to himself, biting his lip to prevent it from escaping.

 

(o)

 

Arcadia had fallen asleep without realizing, judging by the crick in her neck. Looking out the windows, all she could see was desert on all sides. They were getting close, hopefully. Swiveling her head around to try and work out the crick in her neck, she caught sight of something in the back row of seats, where Ramirez and Dr. Morss were sitting. They were huddled over something that she couldn’t quite catch sight of from her angle.

“Hey! What are you up to over there?”

Ramirez looked up at her with wide, shocked eyes, the left a bright yellow. That was one thing she’d definitely be looking forwards to studying.

“Noth-Nothing”

“Really? Are you _sure_ about that? Because it sure seems like something.”

He’d shifted his position to hide whatever it was, and was glancing over at the door as if he wanted to jump out of the moving van.

“Please, it’s nothing, really. You-you don’t have to-”

She cut him off with a “Oh no, I think I do. Show me, or else.”

With an extremely visible gulp and shrinking back into his seat a bit, Ramirez brought out a box filled with… contacts? What?

“Geez, I don’t know what you were getting so worked up over. Nothing shameful about having to wear contacts.”

She’d started to turn back when something caught in her mind. Snapping back, she studied the contacts a little bit closer and didn’t they seem oddly tinted? Almost as if…

“What the fuck, Ramirez? I’ll admit, I’ve never thought that highly of you, but I didn’t think you’d stoop so low as to smuggle illegal contraband onto a mission this important!”

“Wait, what?” This from Dr. Ng.

“Look, guys, it’s not what it looks like, I promise!”

“Oh really? Because it looks like you have a box full of colored contacts on your person.”

“Okay, while I admit it may look bad, it’s not what you’re thinking, I swear.”

“I don’t even know what to think right now, freak.”

“Okay look, come on, you’ve heard the stories about this town, right?”

“Who hasn’t?”

“Okay, so, most likely, they’ve never heard of me. That’s why I did this. I just want to try and have some semblance of normal for once in my life. Can’t I at least have that. Please, can’t you keep quiet about this? A secret between scientists?”

“You? Normal? Ha!”

“You don’t even deserve that title!”

“Why the fuck do you think we’d keep something like that a secret?”

“Well, you know, if it were to somehow be discovered that I had contraband, we’d all be sent home, of course. I’d be put in jail, but most likely, after the complete and utter failure of the first mission, there wouldn’t be another team sent for _years_ , at least, if ever. And even when that team is sent, there’s almost no chance any of you would be on it. Would you really give up this incredible  scientific opportunity just to turn me in?”

“You fucking bastard.” That aberration even had a smirk on his face, and all she wanted to do was wipe it off.

“So, is that a yes?”

“Fine, but only in the name of science. I’m not doing this for you, Ramirez.”

Her statement was met with begrudging agreement from the others. With tense civility restored amongst the van’s occupants, they kept driving through the seemingly endless desert.

 

(o)

 

Oh fuck, that had actually worked. That had actually worked. His facade quickly crumbling, Carlos let out a quick huff. He’d had to think on the spot, and luckily enough for him, he’d guessed right. Yay for his lack of foresight, he supposed. He was so stupid. How could he not have realized that he couldn’t hide the fact that his eyes were staying the same forever? He’d just been so excited for this chance to be somewhat normal that he hadn’t even thought about the problems it might cause. So stupid. At least the facade he’d put up had worked. It was all over now, and everything was alright. It was. It had to be.  It had to be.

 

(o)

 

Cecil collapsed into the chair in front of the microphone. Everything looked greyer than usual, or maybe it was just him. It was probably him, but really, could you blame him? The switch that would start the broadcast was staring back at him, accusing him. It was already past time to start, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could hear Station Management. They seemed agitated. Probably because he hadn’t started broadcasting. He ought to start, he supposed. It wouldn’t do good to have station management angry at him if he could help it. Taking a deep breath, Cecil reached forwards and flipped the switch. The on-air light flipped on with a burning red glow. Cecil made it through his introduction almost mindlessly, finally reaching the point where he could tell everyone about what had just happened. He paused, steadying himself, and started talking, letting words wash over him as he reached out to those on the other end.

“A scientist arrived in town today, folks. I took one look, and I fell in love instantly. His hair is perfectly mussed and his teeth are straight as tombstones. The scientists, who had just arrived in town today, gave an introduction today at the Night Vale Community Center, as is mandatory. I was there, of course, as is my duty as a community radio host, and when I saw Carlos, beautiful, perfect Carlos, up there on the stage, I felt a tug go deep through me, straight into my soul, like nothing I’d ever felt before, and in that instant I knew he was my soulmate, the one meant for me.”

Cecil didn’t know if he had the courage to say this next part. It felt like if he said it, it would become real, more real than it ever had just living in his head. With a shuddering voice, the words came spilling out, almost without thought.

“His right eye was a perfect reflection of my left, a deep chocolate brown. But listeners, oh my dear listeners, his left eye was a shade of icy blue. With all the emotions rushing through me in that moment, I knew there was no way my eye was any shade of blue. Carlos, dear, sweet Carlos, is my soulmate, I know that without a doubt, but… but I’m not his.”

At those last words, Cecil felt a wave of resignation wash over him, heavier than he would have thought, pushing him down. He continued on, willing, begging them to understand.

“I was so sure that he’d felt something, felt the same thing I did, but the longer I stared, the more I knew it was just wishful thinking. I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, the moment when I’d meet my soulmate. We’d meet each others eyes and it would be perfect. We’d throw ourselves into each other’s arms and never let go. The years would go by, and we’d still be so much in love with one another and it would be beautiful and perfect and wonderful and everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

“I know that can’t happen now. I can’t tell him, can’t make him obligated to be with me just because he’s my soulmate. Carlos deserves someone who’s perfect for him, and no matter how much I may wish it to be so, that person isn’t me.”

 

(o)

 

Carlos, if he was honest with himself, wasn’t a very big fan of crowds. Rachelle had urged him onto the stage to the disapproving glances of the other team members, which she had somehow been oblivious to. Now he was just standing there awkwardly, looking at the members of the town, internally relieved when they didn’t show any sign of recognition. Violet Ng was speaking to the crowd, and he had to admire her oratorical skills. Rachelle had asked him to join in, say a little something about his role here, but there was no chance in hell that was going to happen. He was gonna do exactly what he should; keep quiet and let the others speak for him. He definitely did not want to get on their bad side this early. As he stared out at the crowd, fidgeting nervously, he noticed a man (a reporter perhaps?) scribbling furiously in a notebook. The man looked up again, and when their eyes met, he felt… something. It reached deep inside himself, and tugged at him powerfully, almost causing him to stumble off balance. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that it was like the feeling people spoke of when they met their soulmates. However, he did know better, and he was sure it was just some side-effect, another proof of his own brokenness. Those thoughts were quickly shoved to the side, replaced with him staring at the man’s eyes in a deep and abiding shock as one of them slowly changed from a light pink to a deep purple. It felt like his brain was misfiring. He couldn’t get a coherent thought together for the life of him. There was someone else out there like him? Someone else that was broken like he was? The man suddenly stepped back, almost unconsciously, and started walking quickly towards the exit, almost running. Carlos wanted to reach out to him, to call him back, but he couldn’t seem to make his body work for the life of him. A sharp grip on his arm startled him out of his shock. Following the tug without thinking, he heard a voice hiss into his ear “You idiot. Didn’t you hear we were getting off? I knew bringing you was a terrible idea.”

“Sorry…”

He still wasn’t even really listening, as, like water smoothing a boulder, his mind turned over what had just happened. He’d thought he was the only one like him. It wasn’t just him that had thought that, but the entire scientific community. He wasn’t alone. _He wasn’t alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did y'all think? Good, bad, mediocre? Just blast your thoughts into that lovely comment box down below! Thanks for reading! See ya next time! (hopefully ><)  
>  _Alas friends, we cannot stay; the future's always on its way. Thus ends our passion play as it is played today._


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